We’re going to kick ass tomorrow at the Tough Mudder.

That is all.

~ Vincent Van Gogh

When I first started CrossFit I never knew what other CrossFitters meant when they talked about “firebreathers.” It seemed a silly affectation like, say, compression sleeves or jorts.

Then I did 100 burpees for time. Afterwards, as I was rolling around in agony, the meaning of “firebreather” became immediately and painfully apparent. I may not have actually been breathing fire, but I may as well have been, judging by how my lungs felt. I wouldn’t have been surprised if a little puff of flame spurted from my nostrils.

Lots of people tell you that you should be able to carry on a conversation while you exercise. Dude. If you can talk while you’re working out, what you’re doing isn’t a workout. It’s a conversation with some other stuff tacked on as an afterthought.

If you want results, you need intensity, and intensity causes discomfort. That’s your skin in the game. Is it worth it? Hell yeah. Ask this guy.

Static strength is what you use to hold an object in place. Mid-line stability is an expression of static strength whereby you exert your core to hold your spinal column in a neutral position. In CrossFit we refer to mid-line stability as “The Position” and we work on it all the time because it is a limiting factor in any physical expression. Here are some examples:

• You can’t do a pushup unless you can hold a plank
• You can’t snatch a weight that you can’t lock out overhead
• You can’t swing a kettlebell unless you can arrest its motion at the apex of a swing
• You can’t run or do double-unders unless you can keep your spine from folding in half with each landing

The nice thing about static strength is that you don’t need weights or machines to get stronger. Gymnasts rarely lift weights but they are exceptionally strong because they do so much static strength work with bodyweight. If you’re interested in a challenging static strength workout that will make all other ab workouts feel trivial, try a max effort L-sit. A good aspirational goal is to hold an L for sixty seconds. That’s just a little more time than you’d need to buy a Big Mac!

So in a year my lean mass went up by ten pounds, my fat mass went down by four pounds, and my body fat percentage went from 15.5% to 13.2%.

This experience was instructive for me because it made me appreciate (again), the difference between perception and reality. Right now I feel extremely pudgy and out of shape. If I’d had to wager, I would have guessed that my body fat percentage was closer to 20%. But when confronted with the data I had to acknowledge that my perception of myself is skewed.

We all see ourselves through a veil. Family history, cultural norms and personal hangups are all threads in the veil. If you grew up as a fat kid, like me, that fat kid will always be looking back at you in the mirror. But this is perception – it is illusory and can’t be trusted.

So what can you trust? In my case, when I review the year I can see  countless confirmations that I chose to ignore. I set a 51 second PR on Grace; I finally snatched more than my bodyweight; I did 10 consecutive muscle-ups; etc. This is reality: tangible, indisputable facts that show that by every meaningful metric of fitness I am improving.

But if you don’t acknowledge reality it might as well be fantasy. The veil descends and you lose clarity on who you are and where you are going.

Joe about to savor the sweet taste of victory...

In 280BC King Pyrrhus of Epirus defeated a vastly superior Roman army at Asculum – but his army suffered enormous casualties. Afterwards he declared,  ”If we are victorious in one more battle with the Romans, we shall be utterly ruined.” Today the term “Pyrrhic victory” is used ruefully to describe a victory with devastating cost to the victor and King Pyrrhus is used as a cautionary tale in business schools and “leadership institutes” everywhere. 

But what alternatives did Pyrrhus have?  Here are his choices:

1. Run away. Not a good option, as the Romans would have hunted him down eventually. 
2. Surrender. On a good day the Romans might demand tribute. On a bad day, they might kill or enslave his entire army.
3. Fight. Upside: freedom. Downside: death.

If you are TOTALLY COMMITTED, then surrender and retreat are not real options. Like King Pyrrhus, you have no Plan B. You have to fight and accept the consequences, no matter how dire.

Imagine what your life could be like if you didn’t have a plan B; if you never held back; if you charged ahead as though your life depended on it. 

In CrossFit we talk of the “fog of war”. This refers to the mental and emotional turbulence and confusion that descends when you are under extreme duress. In the fog of war you are King Pyrrhus, toe-to-toe with a superior army poised to crush you. Do you flee, surrender, or fight?

People say that CrossFit is about “kicking ass at life”. I always thought this was a dorky affectation, until I realized that who you are in the gym is who you are in the “real world.” If you can’t commit to your workout, how can you commit to your job, your wife, your diet, your retirement plan or anything else? The reality of modernity is that the fog of war is everpresent and inescapable. The only question is whether you are ready for it.

CrossFitters kick ass at life because we train for it, every day, with every workout.

BTW – While King Pyrrhus was defeated by the Romans eventually, his victory at Asculum bought the people of Epirus a decade of freedom from Roman dominion.

You’ve surely seen the news. In the past thirty years obesity in children has risen from 5% to 17%. By 2030, the CDC estimates that one third of American children will be obese. There is a lot of hand-wringing going on, motivated by a well-meaning impulse to “do something”. So now we are being asked to consider policy solutions to obesity. Sugar taxes, farm subsidies, urban design, and school lunches have all been raised as possible solutions.

Groan.

I have two problems with policy approaches to obesity.

First, policy solutions inevitably politicize the problem. Remember how Congress blocked Michelle Obama’s effort to eliminate pizza from school lunches? Our political system is specifically designed to yield compromise and prevent sweeping and radical change. I would submit that our kids deserve better than anything our political system can produce. Sorry to state the obvious but, well, look around. Looking to politicians for a coherent solution is a fool’s errand.

Second, policy solutions won’t work because they infantilize the kids they are intended to help. I can tell you that if you treat someone like an infant they will surely act like one. It may be possible to exert more control over what kids eat but that increased control will be accompanied by resentment and impaired decision making skills. Does anyone think that’s a good idea?

Here’s what I’ve learned from working with a group of adolescents in our CrossFit Kids program. Kids want to be strong and fast. They want to do pull ups and muscle-ups. They love movement for its own sake – and for the feeling of accomplishment that moving well brings. I wish everyone could experience the look on a kid’s face when he gets his first pull up, or PR’s in anything. It will erase any doubt you might have about our kids’ innate nobility.

So forget about policy approaches to obesity. Policy isn’t fun. Kids need fun and they need to be challenged. Make movement fun and challenging and our politicians can get back to whatever it is they do.

Nowadays, lots of foods are touted as providing omega-3′s. Why is there so much hype around omega-3′s? Most people know that omega-3′s help suppress inflammation. But the journal Neurology recently published a report that suggests omega-3 fatty acids can also prevent Alzheimer’s disease. The study showed that diets rich in omega-3 fats correlate to lower beta-amyloid levels. Beta-amyloids are proteins  found in high concentrations in the brains of Alzheimer’s sufferers.

Getting enough omega-3′s is tricky because most of the foods marketed as omega-3 sources are actually plant-derived. For instance, I like a brand of almond butter from Trader Joe’s that has flax seed mixed in. While flax does provide some omega-3′s it comes in the form of alpha linolenic acid (ALA) which our bodies must convert into a form that we can use (EPA or DHA). This process is very inefficient – only about 5% of the ALA is converted. I would have to eat buckets of almond butter to get the amount of omega-3′s I need. As appealing as this may be, animal sources of omega-3′s are probably a better choice.

If you want to give your brain a boost, try to eat a few servings of fresh, wild, ocean fish every week. If that’s not possible there are plenty of good fish oil supplements on the market, and most of them would be much better than flax seed.

The MS 150 Mile bike ride is taking place June 8-10, and TwinTown has it’s very own team riding in the event. The MS 150 raises money to fund research and treatment of Multiple Sclerosis. Each of us has to raise at least $300 to take part in the race, and every dollar beyond that goal is an additional gift to MS research.

If you would like to join us in the race, sign up under our team name, and ride along! If not, you still have an opportunity to take part by donating even a small amount.

Fridays in the rest of May are now “sponsor a rider” day at the gym. If you are coming to a Friday WOD, please consider donating a small amount to one of the riders on our team, even $5 goes a long way. I personally promise that whoever donates to me on those days will have their name proudly displayed on my legs and arms during the ride. If you donate $100 or more I will write your name on my face. ON. MY. FACE.

Of course you are always welcome to workout on Fridays without donating, but if you would like to take part, here is the link to our team page:

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/MNMBikeEvents?pg=team&fr_id=17515&team_id=260125

CrossFit is great if you want to look good naked, but it’s also good for your brain. Because whenever you start to practice a new sport, your brain starts to grow grey matter.

Unfortunately anatomical changes to your brain are muted without sustained practice. So if you make a habit of missing WOD’s your brain won’t experience much benefit – and neither will your six pack. Continuity is key.

Since brain function changes as you age, the stakes are higher if you’re older than thirty. At this age you have passed your peak brain function and you need to take deliberate and sustained action to prevent deterioration in fine motor skills.

This is something to think about when you’re trying to learn double-unders. Yes, double-under practice is demoralizing beyond description, but think of all that grey matter piling up between your ears!