Static strength is what you use to hold an object in place. Mid-line stability is an expression of static strength whereby you exert your core to hold your spinal column in a neutral position. In CrossFit we refer to mid-line stability as “The Position” and we work on it all the time because it is a limiting factor in any physical expression. Here are some examples:

• You can’t do a pushup unless you can hold a plank
• You can’t snatch a weight that you can’t lock out overhead
• You can’t swing a kettlebell unless you can arrest its motion at the apex of a swing
• You can’t run or do double-unders unless you can keep your spine from folding in half with each landing

The nice thing about static strength is that you don’t need weights or machines to get stronger. Gymnasts rarely lift weights but they are exceptionally strong because they do so much static strength work with bodyweight. If you’re interested in a challenging static strength workout that will make all other ab workouts feel trivial, try a max effort L-sit. A good aspirational goal is to hold an L for sixty seconds. That’s just a little more time than you’d need to buy a Big Mac!

Joe about to savor the sweet taste of victory...

In 280BC King Pyrrhus of Epirus defeated a vastly superior Roman army at Asculum – but his army suffered enormous casualties. Afterwards he declared,  ”If we are victorious in one more battle with the Romans, we shall be utterly ruined.” Today the term “Pyrrhic victory” is used ruefully to describe a victory with devastating cost to the victor and King Pyrrhus is used as a cautionary tale in business schools and “leadership institutes” everywhere. 

But what alternatives did Pyrrhus have?  Here are his choices:

1. Run away. Not a good option, as the Romans would have hunted him down eventually. 
2. Surrender. On a good day the Romans might demand tribute. On a bad day, they might kill or enslave his entire army.
3. Fight. Upside: freedom. Downside: death.

If you are TOTALLY COMMITTED, then surrender and retreat are not real options. Like King Pyrrhus, you have no Plan B. You have to fight and accept the consequences, no matter how dire.

Imagine what your life could be like if you didn’t have a plan B; if you never held back; if you charged ahead as though your life depended on it. 

In CrossFit we talk of the “fog of war”. This refers to the mental and emotional turbulence and confusion that descends when you are under extreme duress. In the fog of war you are King Pyrrhus, toe-to-toe with a superior army poised to crush you. Do you flee, surrender, or fight?

People say that CrossFit is about “kicking ass at life”. I always thought this was a dorky affectation, until I realized that who you are in the gym is who you are in the “real world.” If you can’t commit to your workout, how can you commit to your job, your wife, your diet, your retirement plan or anything else? The reality of modernity is that the fog of war is everpresent and inescapable. The only question is whether you are ready for it.

CrossFitters kick ass at life because we train for it, every day, with every workout.

BTW – While King Pyrrhus was defeated by the Romans eventually, his victory at Asculum bought the people of Epirus a decade of freedom from Roman dominion.

A Class 3 Lever

The other day I was grossing myself out by leafing through an anatomy textbook when suddenly I had a weird moment of curiosity. Usually these moments pass without incident, but this time, alas, my mind kept working away at the following problem…

For the most part our bodies are made up of class 3 levers.  Class 3 levers operate by exerting effort between the fulcrum and resistance. Class 3 levers are funny because they do not provide any mechanical advantage. In other words, if you want to move 5 pounds of load, you have to exert more than 5 pounds of force.  What’s up with that? It seems like a pretty major design flaw.

While class 3 levers are not good for moving heavy things, they are good for moving light-ish things fast. In the example of your bicep, a one inch contraction of the muscle will move your hand across an 18 inch arc. That’s pretty cool. The fact that our bodies are designed for speed rather than power means that we’re good at throwing, running, jabbing, etc. Who cares if we’re not good at lifting boulders?  I can’t kill dinner with a boulder, but give me a spear and and I’ll bring home the bacon.

The point is, the design flaw that baffled me is not really a flaw at all, but the result of thousands of years of evolutionary pressure. Our ability to move our limbs quickly means we can utilize momentum, which amplifies what little force our bodies can produce. Momentum is why Yang Lian of China can snatch 216 pounds at a bodyweight of 105 pounds. Momentum is how CrossFitter Chris Spealler ripped out 100 pullups. Momentum is how outfielders can hurl a ball over 300 feet.

This explains why baseball is on TV but powerlifting isn’t. Baseball ritualizes our optimal genetic expression. What else can explain why we spend all summer staring at bags of class 3 levers in tight pants and and cleats?

If you have a job, you know how to do this: Monday through Friday your alarm clock starts blaring and you wake up in a state of panic. Then you fumble your way into the shower, gulp down a scalding mug of coffee and climb into your car to joust on the freeway in near darkness with legions of other joyful commuters. When you finally make it to work your reward is to bask under florescent lights while blinking and yawning at a flickering screen for 8 hours. Could life get any more stressful?

Our forebears had it easy by comparison. They woke up with the sunrise and spent most of the day in the sunlight. They slept when the sun set and probably slept more than 9 hours a night. If you believe in evolution then you have to believe that the thousands of years predating the invention of electric light did more to shape our genetic code than the 132 years since. Electricity is pretty sweet, but it has enabled modern man to be wakeful and stimulated for much longer than is healthy.

This is because sleep deprivation causes stress. Stress causes elevated levels of cortisol and leptin (the hormone that regulates appetite). Elevated leptin is causally linked to obesity and binge eating. Elevated cortisol is linked to many auto-immune disorders. In other words, sleep deprivation makes you fat, sick and eventually dead.

Short of going off the grid and foraging for grubs in New Zealand, how can modern man duplicate the healthful sleep patterns of our paleolithic ancestors? Here are two easy tips to improve your sleep and reduce your stress:

○ No television for 90 minutes before bedtime. Flickering lights alter your brain function and disrupt your circadian rhythm. Shut off the TV, close your laptop, and chill for at least 90 minutes before your head hits the pillow. This will allow your brain to stop twitching and give you more restful sleep.

○ Make your room completely dark. Your body is stimulated into wakefulness by even low levels of light and even when your eyes are closed. Get opaque fabric and drape it over your windows. Cover your digital alarm clock. You shouldn’t be able to see your hand in front of your face.

These two tips cost virtually nothing and are much better for you than Ambien or a night cap!

Your Central Nervous System (CNS) is how your brain tells  motor neurons and fibers to fire at a certain rate and intensity. Your CNS ensures proper muscle coordination. If your CNS is fried, you won’t be able to move well and your risk of injury goes through the roof.

If your “workout” consists of cruising on a treadmill while listening to Ke$ha on your iPod you probably don’t have to worry about CNS fatigue.  Low-intensity exercise requires minimal motor-unit recruitment which is a fancy way of saying, it’s too easy and it’s a waste of time. But if you train in a CrossFit gym you will most certainly experience CNS fatigue at some point. You probably already have without realizing it.

That’s the tricky thing about CNS fatigue. You can’t see your nervous system so it’s not readily apparent when something is awry. Oddly, you do NOT have to be sore to experience CNS fatigue.

So what to do? You definitely don’t want to figure out your CNS is fried because you dropped a barbell on your head. Here are some quick and easy signs that you can monitor before you set foot in the gym. If you display two or more of these symptoms, stay home! You’ve earned a rest day!

1. You can’t type anymore. If your typing accuracy drops that’s your brain telling you it isn’t able to  recruit motor units effectively. You can draw the same conclusion if you trip over your own feet, spill your glass or get a body part trapped in your zipper
2. Your heart races when you wake up in the morning. Elevated resting heart rate is a very common sign of CNS fatigue. If your body is still trying to repair itself after a full night on the rack, you need to take time off.
3. Everything looks heavy. CNS fatigue skews your perception of exertion. If the thought of hoisting a bag of groceries makes you sigh, that’s a pretty good sign that your body is begging for mercy.

Now turn off that Ke$ha and start doing some burpees!

Denial: WTF? Bread is bad for me? But it’s whole wheat!

Anger: Yeah I’m crabby! I need my sugar fix and I threw away all my brownie bites yesterday! Did the garbage truck already come?

Bargaining: Check it out! I made pancakes out of almond flour! I just ate twelve of them!

Depression: Without beer everything seems so pointy and shiny. Stupid birds. Why must they torment me with their incessant chirping?

Acceptance: My clothes fit different. What happened to my zits? Did that girl just look at me? Last night I had a dream that didn’t involve warlocks and cheese castles. Why doesn’t my stomach hurt anymore? I feel strong.

If you’ve ever been on a treadmill at the local globo gym you recognize this picture. Basically the idea is that if you exercise at around 70% of maximal heart rate for prolonged periods your body burns a higher percentage of calories from fat. Because the “fat-burning-zone” is low-intensity, you can maintain this pace for prolonged periods, which is why there’s always a line for the treadmill!

The obvious problem with the “fat burning zone” is that it doesn’t account for absolute versus relative values. In other words, the person who does a short and intense workout will burn more total calories from fat than the dude who cruises on the treadmill at an easy pace – although the treadmill zombie may burn more proportional calories from fat.

The in-obvious problem with the “fat burning zone” is that it implies that health and fitness are outcomes of caloric deficit which is neurotic at best. The mainstream fixation on caloric deficit inevitably leads to a “more is better” mindset with relation to exercise and a “less is better” mindset with relation to food. This is how people end up running 20+ miles a week on a diet of cottage cheese and ice berg lettuce.

If you are obsessive and committed, then you may be able to torment your body into leanness by training this way. However, if you’re like most people, you’ve found to your dismay that after countless hours and miles on the treadmill or on the road, you’re still not as lean as you want to be. Here are a few reasons why you might want to change your workout routine:

• Cortisol – high volume cardio raises your cortisol levels. Cortisol is the “fight-or-flight” hormone that your body releases under stress. Cortisol has been linked to overeating, diabetes, abdominal fat, and weakened immunity. This is one of the reasons that many endurance athletes always seem to be sick.
• Testosterone – too much cardio lowers your testosterone levels. Testosterone promotes release of fat from adipose tissue, so when your testosterone levels are suppressed your body wants to “hold onto” its fat.
• Insulin – ever wondered why you want gatorade or a smoothie after a long run? Your body wants to replenish its glucose reserves. This stimulates you to eat more carbs than you normally would which in turn causes insulin dominance.  Insulin-dominance puts your body into fat-storage mode.

If you really want to get lean, forget about the “fat-burning-zone” and counting calories. Keep your workouts short and intense. More is definitely NOT better.

Cuddly? Husky? Big Boned?

I was fat for 37 years and the thing I remember most about those times is how little the subject of my fatness came up. What I really needed was for someone to look me in the eye and say, “Hey dummy! Belly fat kills. You have a lot to live for, so put that donut down and do some goddam burpees!”

Such honesty would have saved me years of torment and earned my undying gratitude. Sadly, I had to figure it out on my own.

But I don’t hold any grudges. I realize now that it takes immense courage to tell someone they’re too fat because our society has de-normalized honesty. It doesn’t matter how well-meaning you are. The culture police have convinced us that everybody’s ego must be protected…at all costs. Is it any surprise that our public discourse is so wretchedly infantile?

In all likelihood there is noone in your life who has the guts to tell you what you need to hear for your own good. But that doesn’t mean you have to figure it out on your own. You just need to pay attention to the hidden meanings that are encoded in our culture and language. Even the most banal language may have a hidden meaning.

Read on for my Top 5 signs you’re too fat.

1. You wear Dockers. Dockers are specifically cut for apple-shaped physiques, which explains their preeminence as the uniform of choice for sedentary cube-dwellers everywhere. If Dockers are the most comfortable pants you own, there is something wrong with your waist-hip ratio. Be careful of seemingly innocuous marketing language. Pants billed as “EZ Fit” or “Relaxed Fit” or “Comfort Fit” sound harmless enough, but they are really cut to fit dudes with apple shapes. An apple shape means belly fat and belly fat means death.
2. Your girlfriend tries to get you to go to the gym with her. Trust me – your girlfriend does NOT want to work out with you. She wants YOU to work out. The fact that she is willing to let you see her sweaty ass, without makeup, panting on a treadmill is a sacrifice that she would not offer if you didn’t really need to get into shape. Guys, if it gets to this point, you need to lose your gut before you lose your girl. Just sayin.
3. People call you “Big Guy.” Unless you are an NFL linebacker, you should be extremely suspicious if your male friends call you Big Guy, or Big Dawg, or Big Boy or Big anything. Like “husky”, “stocky”, and “big-boned” these are all euphemisms that really mean you’re too fat. Similarly if females call you “cuddly” your alarm bells should be blasting.
4. You easily finish your plate at restaurants. Restaurants are about profit, and that means loading a feed trough with cheap calories so that you’ll leave full, convinced that you got a good value. Be careful at restaurants. Polishing off the “deep-fried cornucopia of lard and sugar” at your local chain restaurant is obviously not a good thing to do. But even a Chipotle burrito contains more than 1000 calories. If you comfortably ingest 1000 calories at one sitting there’s something wrong with your metabolism.
5. Someone tries to convince you to lower your cholesterol. Western medicine is famous for focusing on symptoms rather than causes, which leads to many curiosities, such as marketing oatmeal and other insulinogenic foods as “heart healthy”. Here’s the thing: high cholesterol is a symptom of obesity. If somebody tries to convince you to “do something” about your cholesterol that is usually a coded way of saying you’re too fat. In other words, you don’t have a cholesterol problem. You have an obesity problem.  Fix the obesity and the cholesterol problem will go away - without costly prescriptions.

So now what? If you recognize one or more of these signs, you’re in the danger zone. Be careful, Big Dawg! Belly fat will take years off your life! That’s time you could spend with your loved ones. You only get one body, and there are no do-overs. Just sayin.

Immortal Beloved

Here’s a funny (and true) story.   A building supervisor was receiving numerous complaints about a slow elevator in his building so he called in a team of engineers.

The engineers scratched their heads for a while trying to figure out a way to cheaply improve the elevator’s performance.  Finally, they came up with an ingenious solution.  They simply installed mirrors in the elevators.  No more complaints.  Problem solved.

This anecdote underscores the difference between perceived performance and true performance.  In this case, the engineers realized they could improve the perceived performance of the elevator simply by distracting the riders.  And what better distraction than a mirror, the primary instrument of human vanity?

Nowadays most elevators have mirrors.  So do most gyms.  Does your gym have as many mirrors as a circus funhouse?  What does this tell you about the gym’s performance?  Is your gym trying to distract you from noticing something?

“The ideal requires delicate and diminutive hands and feet and a slender waist.  These features, together with other related faults of structure that commonly go with them, go to show that the person so affected is incapable of useful effort and must therefore be supported in idleness by her owner.  She is useless and expensive, and she is consequently valuable evidence of pecuniary strength.”

Although Veblen wrote this in the 1890′s, he may as well be describing the trophy wife and super model of today. Five minutes in front of the television will show that our society’s feminine beauty ideal promotes smallness, softness, and weakness.  How sad that we still infantilize women this way.

One of the things I love about CrossFit is that our culture holds everyone to the same high standards. Women are expected to do pull-ups, push-ups and muscle-ups.  Women are expected to lift heavy things and to run fast.  We don’t subvert women’s potential by holding them to a lower standard.

Regardless of gender, to CrossFitters, weakness is repellent.  Strength is beautiful.

The feminine beauty ideal of the future? CrossFit games finalists Annie Thorisdottir and Lindsey Smith. Image courtesy of CrossFit